TFC is good right now

I have been watching a lot of TFC (The Filipino Channel) TV shows lately and I have been crying. I can always relate or link up my life to the show in someway. Really good show or really good actors? I feel their pain seriously... Got to believe.... Is my new favorite show. These young stars are really great actors/actresses!

My thoughts

I have been currently obsessing my blog lately and the old geezers have been noticing. They have been telling me to stop being on the computer all the time. I only go on when Mimi is asleep which is at night or her naps and i do go sometimes when shes playing but shes too busy to detect my addiction scanning through other peoples perspective of life. Blogging is just a great way for an introvert like me. I can express myself better through writing than speaking.

Rant

Learn to control your voice. Seriously I'm right next to you. You say that's the way you are.... Anyone can change if they tried hard enough. That's why no one likes you because you talk like your above everyone.

Lazy Days

I have been telling myself to be productive, but I have just been so so so lazy these past few weeks yeah weeks... thought i was gonna say days right but no its been weeks its like a i lost my mojo and i need to find it and get it back. seriously though. I have been cooking up some ideas like I want to have a beautyblog where i review stuff or make videos on youtube again or some mommy and baby infos but argh theres so much stuff going on in my head i just dont know where to start. hmm well i feel like im going to start right now so I will go and make a beauty blog or something....

Vegetarianism

I am so glad that I'm back to being vegetarian. I just love feeling healthy. I'm a big eater and being vegetarian really helps me maintain my weight and motivated me to be healthy and exercise. I know I'm Filipino and most people say that it's is hard to be vegetarian when you're Filipino because Filipino dishes are so oily and meaty. I am so glad I found Seitan (say.tan). Seitan or wheat gluten is meat substitute. I have been experimenting on how to make it taste different by adding some rosemary or thyme or try to make different textures by cutting them into smaller pieces or tearing them apart and I must say I perfected the boil and bake way. At first I didn't like how it was a little spongy but I fried it and it wasn't that bad. I then tried to boil and bake it after and it was just perfect. It tasted like need cutlets lol because I bought some sauce lol change the taste of the seitan. Ugh well I didn't get to post pics really so I will next time I make a new batch but this batch I made pretty much for a whole week lol. All length ttfn

Stuck on Bollywood films

I was stuck in a world that was influenced by love stories and well mostly Bollywood films. But to find out later along that it really doesn't happen like that. There is no knight and shining armor or someone that would take great risks to capture you. In the cruel harsh world everyone is selfish. Doing things for their own needs. Love is dead. And most people believe hate is the opposite of love, but it's not, it's fear because fear destroys all possibilities to love. Fear is your worst enemy. Some can defeat fear, but those are few. You need to learn to fight for your battles alone because no one will help you. It's you against the world.

Thanksgiving/black Friday

Fat holidays are heeeeerrrreee you can eat you can gain weight like no other and it's fine because the holidays are finally here. Thanksgiving with its great feast. MMmmM turkey hello turkey leg. Sweet potatoes, pumpkin pies, stuffing, baked salmon, and more much more. I love it. And then there's Black Friday where all electronics are super super cheap. I got myself an IPad 4 yeheyyyy and I love love love it. The only thing I didn't like is that when you buy something there's a recycling fee. Blame the governor :( but it's allright the iPad was worth it white and 16gb. It's shopping season and the gift of giving. Everyone keeps on buying Mimi clothes and she has clothes she hasn't even worn yet. What about the mommy don't you guys want to buy her clothes also? Lol hehe I need to buy presents and I already have then in mind. Yay Christmas is coming I'm waay to excited k toodles.

Roadtrip

My family and I had a roadtrip to Texas, well I'm actually writing this blog on the way back to California, but I had a ton of fun with family in Texas. I wish everyone lived closer together. Texas is a relaxing simple living state while California is a high standard living state. In Texas a nice 2 story house would cost roughly about 200,000, but in California it would double that price or even more. Texas also doesn't pay taxes talk about rich Texas lol...we ate pretty much steak the whole week yeah well maybe 5/7 days we travelled it was all steak steak steak and I think now I'm good for a year without steak. It was delicious. There was also family parties every night yes every night lechon and pancit molo and cakes.... I gained about 8 pounds this whole trip but that's ok. You're suppose to gain weight during vacation. If you don't then you didn't have a good time on your trip. Mimi also had a lot of fun because everyone just want to hold her and play with her and she exchanges with smiles and giggles. The only thing I didn't like about this trip is parents nagging you to do this and that and ughh parents are just so arghhhhh!! I'm never driving with them also...waaaay to stressful. They need to take a chill pill. I'm tired Its nap time.

Shadow like a dog

Even if you've hurt me so much with your words and action I don't know why I can't stop loving you. I look at God and still pray to keep everything intact. We sort of worked it out a few days ago, but the trust is gone. It will take time to get it back so I will just be on my toes still watching and waiting for your next move. Be cunning and sly to see how you react and wonder why. That doxy needs to step back and understand that temporary is her nature. Once I get back in the picture you will be nothing than a mere shadow like a dog following from behind. Hope that I will not see you because when I do.....

Life is wonderful

I had too much fun yesterday I forgot all my problems. I realized that I can have a life. I can have fun. I just need these problems to go away. It will soon. Life is wonderful"It takes a thought to make a wordAnd it takes some words to make an actionIt takes some work to make it workIt takes some good to make it hurtIt takes some bad for satisfactionAnd it takes no time to fall in loveBut it takes you years to know what love isIt takes some fears to make you trustIt takes those tears to make it rust"It takes the dust to have it polished

Hard-hearted

My heart will be broken hearted forever but who says it won't turn hard hearted. The more you do what you do the easier it is to make choices that I know won't benefit your will. So keep on doing it because I know one day this soft heart will be lost forever. I have a feeling that by the time you realize it it will all be too late. You need to stop making irrational decisions. Love builds but it also destroys.... It's true.

Invest in yourself.

One day you'll see....I will be far greater than I am today... To be happy you need to invest in yourself and payback is priceless. Fix your problems one at a time. Direct your attention to higher grounds.

A tear

I remember the day you left to go back to your homeland I was 6 months pregnant. I remember you kissing our daughter with a teardrop running down your face. I tried to stop myself from crying so my weakness wouldn't show, but when you started walking towards the gate where I can't accompany you anymore that's when I couldn't hold it. So much tears rushed down because you didn't just leave us you took a piece of my heart with you. At that moment that was when I knew I found the one. But where did that man go? The man that kissed my belly and teared. I pray for you to come back. Please come back.

Beep.

I shouldn't have called... It's fine because I will call every few days and then those few days will turn into once a week and then those once a week will turn into every few weeks and then every few weeks will turn into every few months and then beep beep beep. Goodbye. I can't help to call because I wonder how you are. Is that so bad? Is it bad to care even if I know you hate me.

Insomnia What Ifs'.

I wonder why every night at around 3 I always wake up and no I don't believe in that whole ghost thing when if you wake up at 3 it means like theres a ghost watching you or something like that. It's like my body made a habit for going to the bathroom at 3 every night for about 2 weeks now. Also maybe its cause I've been taking diuretics. Every time I wake up I think about my problems and I end up staying up for about 2-3 hours constantly and desperately thinking of a way to get out of these problems. I can't shake it off. Everyone is telling me that time will heal, but what if it doesn't? I'm scared because I don't want to lose something thats too important to me. But what if this is Gods will? What if its destined to be like this. What if I was destined to feel this much pain so for the future I think harder on how to make better decisions. What if life is giving me a lesson? What if I shouldn't even be worrying right now because its all a lie? But what if its not a lie? What will happen to our offspring? What will I do or say when she asks me the questions that I wouldn't know the answers to? What will people say about me? What if he really loves her? I have so much questions to ask and I've been waiting for answers. You should know me well enough that I wouldn't do something like that. It feels like I'm going to have a heart attack.

Growth

I feel it within myself at how much ‘Ive changed through the experiences I’ve gone through these past few months. I’d like to think that I’m a pretty sincere and kind person but once someone does take that for granted I do start to build animosity towards them. I am still learning more about myself and when someone takes advantage of my kindness I don’t have much remorse. Too many times have I encountered this and quite frankly this is why I don’t trust people. I’ve learned that even the people who you think you can trust the most can F you over the hardest. I guess it’s my judgment as well, I am part of the blame. If I didn’t let them get to me that much I wouldn’t be regretting what could of or should of happened. I just need to realize that I can truly be happy again with time. Those who matter will stick around and those who do not will find their way out of my life eventually. I'm glad that I have my daughter because she is mine forever and no one can take her away.

Is there a pause button somewhere?

I can't believe Mimi turned 3 months already. Time flies too quick. It feels like she was just born yesterday and now she's starting to make bubbles and make owl sounds and pull her hanging toys from her bouncer. I wish her daddy can be here to be with us at this memorable moments. Ahh I just need to be patient. 3 more months and we'll be together again. Another 3 months, Mimi will be 6 months already. Ahhhhh I don't want to think about Mimi getting bigger and older. I just want her to be a litto baby forever. Now I understand why it's so hard for parents to see their little dependent girls grow up into an independent woman. It's hard to let go. There was a time when my mother was telling Mimi that she can't have boyfriends till highschool and I quickly said NONONO after college.. PLEASE!! I get it... wow Motherhood really kicks in quick.

Continuing breastfeeding!!!

Discard my last post. I'm continuing breastfeeding!! YAY! When you start to breastfeed it will hurt a lot and you will end up with cracked and sore nipples. So this is what I did to heal it up faster. I started to pump for 3-4 days exclusively every 2-3 hours and I still used the Lanolin cream to heal it up even faster. I bottle fed her my breast milk. After 4 days I started to breastfeed her again and thank goodness she wasn't hard to train to take breast again though I still bottle fed her breast milk I think twice that day. On my 5th day I only fed her with the bottle once which was at night and breastfed her the other times. On my 6th day I was so glad that she did not have any bottle feedings she was full on breastfeeding. YAY!!! It also was not painful at all. It's like it just magically went away. I am so glad. This is my review on my Simple Go evenflo Pump This is my Mommy Blog #4

Bottle feeding breastmilk

I have been having a hard time with breastfeeding so I have been pumping and bottle feeding her breast milk. I decided that I will bottle feed until she's 3 months and start breastfeeding again when her mouth is a little bigger. Her mouth is so tiny right now it hurts too much when she breastfeeds. I'v read that babies can have nipple confusion, but I don't really believe that. If their really hungry their going to end up sucking anything. I just hope that my milk supply will last. I currently pump every 2-3 hours and get about 3oz. I also bought formula just in case I don't make enough milk and I have it ready just for emergencies. I also have nothing against moms who use formula because even if formulas don't have all the necessary nutrients they still have some that's good for the baby. Some moms also result in using formula because of anatomical issues or because they just don't have enough time to breastfeed or pump. The most important thing is that your baby gets whats best for her/him.

2 weeks youtube videos

This video has more breastfeeding tips and for a baby carrier Light make up for new home moms!