Stuck on Bollywood films

I was stuck in a world that was influenced by love stories and well mostly Bollywood films. But to find out later along that it really doesn't happen like that. There is no knight and shining armor or someone that would take great risks to capture you. In the cruel harsh world everyone is selfish. Doing things for their own needs. Love is dead. And most people believe hate is the opposite of love, but it's not, it's fear because fear destroys all possibilities to love. Fear is your worst enemy. Some can defeat fear, but those are few. You need to learn to fight for your battles alone because no one will help you. It's you against the world.

Thanksgiving/black Friday

Fat holidays are heeeeerrrreee you can eat you can gain weight like no other and it's fine because the holidays are finally here. Thanksgiving with its great feast. MMmmM turkey hello turkey leg. Sweet potatoes, pumpkin pies, stuffing, baked salmon, and more much more. I love it. And then there's Black Friday where all electronics are super super cheap. I got myself an IPad 4 yeheyyyy and I love love love it. The only thing I didn't like is that when you buy something there's a recycling fee. Blame the governor :( but it's allright the iPad was worth it white and 16gb. It's shopping season and the gift of giving. Everyone keeps on buying Mimi clothes and she has clothes she hasn't even worn yet. What about the mommy don't you guys want to buy her clothes also? Lol hehe I need to buy presents and I already have then in mind. Yay Christmas is coming I'm waay to excited k toodles.

Roadtrip

My family and I had a roadtrip to Texas, well I'm actually writing this blog on the way back to California, but I had a ton of fun with family in Texas. I wish everyone lived closer together. Texas is a relaxing simple living state while California is a high standard living state. In Texas a nice 2 story house would cost roughly about 200,000, but in California it would double that price or even more. Texas also doesn't pay taxes talk about rich Texas lol...we ate pretty much steak the whole week yeah well maybe 5/7 days we travelled it was all steak steak steak and I think now I'm good for a year without steak. It was delicious. There was also family parties every night yes every night lechon and pancit molo and cakes.... I gained about 8 pounds this whole trip but that's ok. You're suppose to gain weight during vacation. If you don't then you didn't have a good time on your trip. Mimi also had a lot of fun because everyone just want to hold her and play with her and she exchanges with smiles and giggles. The only thing I didn't like about this trip is parents nagging you to do this and that and ughh parents are just so arghhhhh!! I'm never driving with them also...waaaay to stressful. They need to take a chill pill. I'm tired Its nap time.

Shadow like a dog

Even if you've hurt me so much with your words and action I don't know why I can't stop loving you. I look at God and still pray to keep everything intact. We sort of worked it out a few days ago, but the trust is gone. It will take time to get it back so I will just be on my toes still watching and waiting for your next move. Be cunning and sly to see how you react and wonder why. That doxy needs to step back and understand that temporary is her nature. Once I get back in the picture you will be nothing than a mere shadow like a dog following from behind. Hope that I will not see you because when I do.....

Life is wonderful

I had too much fun yesterday I forgot all my problems. I realized that I can have a life. I can have fun. I just need these problems to go away. It will soon. Life is wonderful"It takes a thought to make a wordAnd it takes some words to make an actionIt takes some work to make it workIt takes some good to make it hurtIt takes some bad for satisfactionAnd it takes no time to fall in loveBut it takes you years to know what love isIt takes some fears to make you trustIt takes those tears to make it rust"It takes the dust to have it polished

Hard-hearted

My heart will be broken hearted forever but who says it won't turn hard hearted. The more you do what you do the easier it is to make choices that I know won't benefit your will. So keep on doing it because I know one day this soft heart will be lost forever. I have a feeling that by the time you realize it it will all be too late. You need to stop making irrational decisions. Love builds but it also destroys.... It's true.

Invest in yourself.

One day you'll see....I will be far greater than I am today... To be happy you need to invest in yourself and payback is priceless. Fix your problems one at a time. Direct your attention to higher grounds.

A tear

I remember the day you left to go back to your homeland I was 6 months pregnant. I remember you kissing our daughter with a teardrop running down your face. I tried to stop myself from crying so my weakness wouldn't show, but when you started walking towards the gate where I can't accompany you anymore that's when I couldn't hold it. So much tears rushed down because you didn't just leave us you took a piece of my heart with you. At that moment that was when I knew I found the one. But where did that man go? The man that kissed my belly and teared. I pray for you to come back. Please come back.

Beep.

I shouldn't have called... It's fine because I will call every few days and then those few days will turn into once a week and then those once a week will turn into every few weeks and then every few weeks will turn into every few months and then beep beep beep. Goodbye. I can't help to call because I wonder how you are. Is that so bad? Is it bad to care even if I know you hate me.

Insomnia What Ifs'.

I wonder why every night at around 3 I always wake up and no I don't believe in that whole ghost thing when if you wake up at 3 it means like theres a ghost watching you or something like that. It's like my body made a habit for going to the bathroom at 3 every night for about 2 weeks now. Also maybe its cause I've been taking diuretics. Every time I wake up I think about my problems and I end up staying up for about 2-3 hours constantly and desperately thinking of a way to get out of these problems. I can't shake it off. Everyone is telling me that time will heal, but what if it doesn't? I'm scared because I don't want to lose something thats too important to me. But what if this is Gods will? What if its destined to be like this. What if I was destined to feel this much pain so for the future I think harder on how to make better decisions. What if life is giving me a lesson? What if I shouldn't even be worrying right now because its all a lie? But what if its not a lie? What will happen to our offspring? What will I do or say when she asks me the questions that I wouldn't know the answers to? What will people say about me? What if he really loves her? I have so much questions to ask and I've been waiting for answers. You should know me well enough that I wouldn't do something like that. It feels like I'm going to have a heart attack.

Growth

I feel it within myself at how much ‘Ive changed through the experiences I’ve gone through these past few months. I’d like to think that I’m a pretty sincere and kind person but once someone does take that for granted I do start to build animosity towards them. I am still learning more about myself and when someone takes advantage of my kindness I don’t have much remorse. Too many times have I encountered this and quite frankly this is why I don’t trust people. I’ve learned that even the people who you think you can trust the most can F you over the hardest. I guess it’s my judgment as well, I am part of the blame. If I didn’t let them get to me that much I wouldn’t be regretting what could of or should of happened. I just need to realize that I can truly be happy again with time. Those who matter will stick around and those who do not will find their way out of my life eventually. I'm glad that I have my daughter because she is mine forever and no one can take her away.

Is there a pause button somewhere?

I can't believe Mimi turned 3 months already. Time flies too quick. It feels like she was just born yesterday and now she's starting to make bubbles and make owl sounds and pull her hanging toys from her bouncer. I wish her daddy can be here to be with us at this memorable moments. Ahh I just need to be patient. 3 more months and we'll be together again. Another 3 months, Mimi will be 6 months already. Ahhhhh I don't want to think about Mimi getting bigger and older. I just want her to be a litto baby forever. Now I understand why it's so hard for parents to see their little dependent girls grow up into an independent woman. It's hard to let go. There was a time when my mother was telling Mimi that she can't have boyfriends till highschool and I quickly said NONONO after college.. PLEASE!! I get it... wow Motherhood really kicks in quick.

Continuing breastfeeding!!!

Discard my last post. I'm continuing breastfeeding!! YAY! When you start to breastfeed it will hurt a lot and you will end up with cracked and sore nipples. So this is what I did to heal it up faster. I started to pump for 3-4 days exclusively every 2-3 hours and I still used the Lanolin cream to heal it up even faster. I bottle fed her my breast milk. After 4 days I started to breastfeed her again and thank goodness she wasn't hard to train to take breast again though I still bottle fed her breast milk I think twice that day. On my 5th day I only fed her with the bottle once which was at night and breastfed her the other times. On my 6th day I was so glad that she did not have any bottle feedings she was full on breastfeeding. YAY!!! It also was not painful at all. It's like it just magically went away. I am so glad. This is my review on my Simple Go evenflo Pump This is my Mommy Blog #4

Bottle feeding breastmilk

I have been having a hard time with breastfeeding so I have been pumping and bottle feeding her breast milk. I decided that I will bottle feed until she's 3 months and start breastfeeding again when her mouth is a little bigger. Her mouth is so tiny right now it hurts too much when she breastfeeds. I'v read that babies can have nipple confusion, but I don't really believe that. If their really hungry their going to end up sucking anything. I just hope that my milk supply will last. I currently pump every 2-3 hours and get about 3oz. I also bought formula just in case I don't make enough milk and I have it ready just for emergencies. I also have nothing against moms who use formula because even if formulas don't have all the necessary nutrients they still have some that's good for the baby. Some moms also result in using formula because of anatomical issues or because they just don't have enough time to breastfeed or pump. The most important thing is that your baby gets whats best for her/him.

2 weeks youtube videos

This video has more breastfeeding tips and for a baby carrier Light make up for new home moms!

Labor

I recently gave birth to a wonderful baby girl on July 23, 2012 at 8:27pm. She weighed 7lb. 2oz and 19inches long. She was pretty big considering the fact that on her last ultrasound when I was 8 months pregnant she was only 5.6 pounds. So I was expecting her to be only 6 pounds or 6 pounds and half at most. We were all in for a surprise, even my doctor was shocked how big she was. My labor was really quick I started pushing 8:04pm and she came out 8:27. I had an epidural when I was already 6cm dilated because I couldn't handle the pain anymore. Epidurals are great It's like a gift from above. We had skin to skin contact right after she was out. I was so happy when I received her in my arms. She was so strong already she can kind of lift her head. Her kicks and her arms were so strong too no wonder that when she was in my tummy; when she kicked or rolled around it was a little painful. The nurse took her to give her a bath and she pooped a lot. She pooped twice and everyone was just laughing. The color of the poop was very dark. It was meconium, babies first poop. Good thing she didn't poop inside. An hour or two after, I was taken in the Postpartem room where I stayed after I gave birth to my daughter. I tried breastfeeding, but it was so painful because they didn't teach me how to properly latch her on. The lactation consultant came in my room, but she didn't teach me anything because the baby was sleeping already. So it was still painful. In the evening on July 24 the nurse came in to do her newborn testing. She also said she had jaundice so she had to prick her heel and get a small vial of blood. My daughter cried so much I started crying. Your hormones really heighten your emotions. After she was done it was ok for us to leave. It was so funny because we had no idea how to put our new baby in the car seat. It took us almost 30 minutes to finally put her in properly. We went home and we were so tired we all had a good rest sleep well, except for me because my baby cried and cried so I had to wake up and breastfeed. My labor was fast, great, and easy. Next labor is probably going to be in 3 to 4 years. Mommy lola and Daddy lolo already want another baby hehehe. -xoxo Junette

1st week baby

Newmomsblog video

The first video shows what you should bring in your hospital bag. I'm missing my toiletries. This video is a review on a 32 piece brush set from Ebay

Youtube account

Hey dolls I just made a new youtube account and I blog about mom stuff. I hope you guys check it out :] I talk about pregnancy and babies. http://www.youtube.com/newmomsblog

Juan for all

I was watching television and my dad wanted to change the channel to GMA. It is a filipino t.v. show thats been running for years and years. Ever since I was younger it was always on. They travel to different barangays or cities where they pick winners and give them prizes. They usually give money, clothing, food, etc. The winners house was literally made of wood and cardboard and their whole house is probably the size of my kitchen and so that's pretty small. There was only one bed and there were 5 people living in that small house. They guys job consist of making handcrafted keychains and in a day he makes about 100 - 250 pesos which is about 2 - 4 dollars. Its just heartwarming how they help people. It's nice to know that there are shows and programs to help people of low income.

I just want to give that show props because they never stopped what they were doing. They've been helping people for years and that encourages me to help and donate as much as I can to charities or other programs. I hope it also encourages my readers.

NST

Hey dolls I had my Non-stress test today. It's my recurring appointments to see how my baby is doing. Last time I had my ultrasound she was very small. She only weighed about 5.6 pounds for a 38 week old baby. A normal weight for a baby that is 38 weeks is around 6.8 pounds. I think she's small due to genetics. My husband and I are short so thats probably why she's so small. Well my NST was successful her heart beats were normal I had no crazy contractions and my water was normal. I'm glad everything is going well. I just want her out already. I'm suppose to be induced on the 23rd, but I hope I don't because I want my water to break naturally. There's a big chance that I will give birth before that since I'm already 3cm dilated, but I've been reading a lot of mommy blogs and they said that sometimes they were 3cm dilated for 1-2 weeks. So it might just stay like that. Well I hope and I pray that I will have a fast and safe delivery. Heres a picture of my daughter when she was 32-35 weeks.

3cm dilated

Hey dolls so I went to my doctors appointment yesterday and I found out that I'm already 3cm dilated. She did a membrane sweep yes TMI, but I agreed because I don't want to prolong my pregnancy anymore. I am so excited to have this baby girl. After, they just told me to go home and rest and walk to induce labor naturally. Though I haven't walked because there is so much going on at home I just didn't have time. I have family from Texas arriving to visit my grandma which is in the hospital right now. My pelvic area hurts, but is still tolerable. Here is a picture of my belly being 39weeks and 3 days.

I'm kind of sad I didn't take an actual professional portrait :[

Refresh

I know I haven't posted a blog for over 2 years, but I want to change that. So much has happened within this 2 years that I haven't had time to update this blog. So to fill you guys in I did go to Cebu Doctors' University in Cebu and I finished 2 years of BSN. 2 more years to go until I take the board, but there's a little bump on the road. I got married and I'm having a baby girl

=

The baby is coming soon :]